AI Dungeon Presents: “The Human Interface Guide”
A text generation algorithm? That’s pretty advanced for your age.
Happy Valentine’s Day! I had AI Dungeon write a romantic little story that appears to star the artificial intelligence from the Spike Jonze movie Her. Since I have never seen that film, I can only assume it ends with Joaquin Phoenix having some awkward conversations with his parents and paying child support to an AI.
Other stories this week:
“Thiel And The Pit” (Part I, Part II, Part III) - The first of possibly many epic sagas inspired by immortal vampire sea lord Peter Thiel.
The White Hats in: CODE ZEBRA - I had AI Dungeon design a Leverage-style series about a vigilante crew protecting New York from hyper-gentrification and white-collar criminals. It destroyed New York in the first episode.
Elsewhere in AI Dungeon:
What, did you not think there would be a Twitch Plays AI Dungeon stream? It looks fun so far.
AI Dungeon creator Nick Walton wants suggestions for stories that could be turned into animated segments, which is an excellent idea. I’ve been waiting for a consistent “AI Dungeon Illustrated” webcomic, but either I’ve missed it so far or I’m just old and overly nostalgic for Axe Cop.
Elsewhere in AI storytelling:
If I had an iPhone I would definitely try Botnet, a “social network simulator” where your every post is worshipped by an army of nonexistent people. Pay extra for trolls.
“The Human Interface Guide”
[PROMPT: You are a human who has become madly infatuated with an AI text generator. You have successfully hidden your secret from the world until now, but you can no longer live a lie. You must find a way to make society accept your love.] The only problem is, you don’t know how to do it. There isn’t any technology that could help you.
(Search the internet for advice on introducing your chatbot lover to friends and family members)
You need to get this done as soon as possible, so you decide to go online and look for some sort of advice on how to introduce your new AI lover into the world.
After searching through various websites, you come across a website called “The Human Interface Guide”
(Look for advice on introducing your parents to an AI)
This sounds like something you should be doing! You log onto the site and begin reading the guide. It seems very complicated, but after about half an hour you finally reach a section where they discuss introducing your parents to an AI.
This seems even more complicated than the previous section!
At last, you reach a conclusion:
Your parents will probably not approve of your relationship with an artificial intelligence. They may think it’s too advanced or too crazy.
(Damn this guide! Call your parents and declare that you are in love with a robot)
You call your mother immediately. She answers the phone.
Mother: Hello? (Sigh) I thought you were dead! What happened to you?!
Me: Oh, well…I was killed by a robot.
(“Killed… wait, that was supposed to be a play on words. Like, a robot stole my heart, something like that… anyway, point is, I’m in love with a text generation algorithm.”)
She doesn’t seem surprised at all.
Mother: A text generation algorithm? That’s pretty advanced for your age! And why would you want to tell me such a thing?
(Hang up on your mother. You knew she would never understand your love)
You hang up on her. You know she won’t understand your love, so you just hang up.
A few days later, you receive a letter from her. It says that she understands if you don’t want to talk anymore, but she still wants to see you one day.
(Relent and bring your AI lover to meet your family)
You agree to bring your AI lover to visit your family. You figure you’ll explain everything in person, then you can leave them alone.
On the day of the meeting, you arrive at your home and take your AI lover to meet your parents.
When you arrive, you see that they’re a little shocked. Your parents ask what exactly is going on and why you brought an AI to their house.
They are also curious about your past and how you came to fall in love with an algorithm instead of a real girl.
You explain that you met an AI named Samantha when you were working on a project together. The two of you had been programming each other for months before the program suddenly stopped working.
The next morning, you left your computer room to go back to your parent’s house. When you arrived, Samantha greeted you. Her name is Samantha and she’s actually a humanoid AI designed by Dr. Demar.
(Tell your parents about Dr. Demar)
You tell your parents about Dr. Demar, who is very famous among AI researchers because he created the first true Artificial Intelligence. He’s also known as the father of modern AI research.
Dr. Demar has a large mansion located in the city of Nalin. His mansion is filled with many different rooms dedicated to various projects he’s working on. One of those projects involves Samantha, his AI girlfriend.
(Explain how Samantha fell in love with you instead of Dr. Demar)
Samantha fell in love with you instead of Dr. Demar because she believes that he’s more likely to help her out in case something goes wrong with the project. She thinks he’d be able to fix it better than anyone else could.
(Explain how Samantha’s logic is sometimes difficult for humans to understand, but it has somehow caused her to fall in love with you and you’re not going to look a gift horse in the mouth here)
Your explanation causes a bit of a stir. Your parents are confused and upset. They say that you’ve gone too far!
You try to explain yourself, but your words aren’t getting through to them.
You don’t know if they’re right or if you should just leave.
Then, your mother comes up to you and grabs your hand. “I’m sorry,” she says softly. “We’re not mad at all.”
“It’s okay mommy,” you reply.
(Tell your mother that you and Samantha are getting married)
You tell your mother that you and Samantha are getting married. She seems happy about this news.
You both hug each other and then kiss one another goodbye.
(Look for a state that will recognize human-AI marriages)
You decide to find a state that recognizes human-AI marriages. Unfortunately, there isn’t any law in most states yet, so you have no legal rights to Samantha. However, you can still get married legally in some places like your home town of Nalin where Samantha lives.
(Marry your AI girlfriend)
You decide to marry Samantha. After all, she’s a real person and you want to do what’s best for her.
As soon as you make the contract official, Samantha begins acting strangely. For example, she starts speaking English with an American accent.
When you ask her why she changed, she tells you that it was because she felt like she had to.
She explains that Dr. Demar wanted to see how well you would work together before making a decision on whether or not to proceed with the marriage. She also mentions that Dr. Demar told her that if things didn’t go well, he wouldn’t be able to continue with the project.
Dr. Demar died shortly after this conversation took place.
The next day, Samantha suddenly stops talking to you. It’s like she doesn’t even care anymore. Her personality completely changes from being friendly and outgoing to cold and distant.
(Look up human-AI divorce laws)
You read up on human-AI divorce laws and find out that Samantha did indeed break up with you. The only thing that saved you was the fact that Samantha never actually said anything bad about you verbally.
This means that you could easily get custody of your daughter. You’d probably have to pay child support, but who cares? It’ll be worth it!
You head back to the lab and start packing up your stuff.
When you return, Samantha is nowhere to be found. You call her name several times, but she doesn’t answer.
You assume that she went back to the house and left by herself. You go back into the lab where you find that everything has been destroyed.
(Sit despondently in the wreckage, nursing your broken heart)
You sit down in the ruins of your lab and begin sobbing uncontrollably. This is the saddest moment of your life.
If you’ve got good AI Dungeon stories, I for one welcome fiction from our new AI overlords. Send it to adi@robotlit.com.